When your child is the star of the football team, no one blinks an eye when you wear a jersey with his number on it or a photo button with his picture. This is so far from the case when your child is gifted that the only similarity between the two is the word “child.” It’s isolating business, raising gifted kids. Few adults are willing to admit their own giftedness, so why should we marvel that it isn’t safe to acknowledge a child’s giftedness, either?
Inspired by the NAGC’s Gifted Children’s Bill of Rights, I’ve developed a Bill of Rights for Parents of Gifted Children. I wish with everything that is in me that I had the power to grant these to you.
You have a right to
1. patience and understanding on the part of friends, family, and educators with the unique parenting required for raising gifted children
2. not be accused of bragging when you share your child’s achievements because it doesn’t always come easily, even to the gifted
3. get support in the educational setting for your child’s needs, even if the child is passing the state tests
4. have your child’s exceptionalities accurately diagnosed and served
5. educational and mental health professionals who understand and are effectively trained in giftedness
6. not be the only person who is determined to make sure your child has the time & materials to explore his or her gifts fully
7. choose the best educational environment for your child without judgment from others, even if the best environment is home
8. expect your child to be physically, emotionally, and cognitively safe at school and social situations
9. allow your child to not always have to be successful
10. celebrate your child’s gifts without apology, hesitation, or fear
If your gifted child sees this list, he or she will probably want to know about the real Bill of Rights, and they can read them here.
If you would like a printable form of this, you can download it here.
What did I miss?
Oh, if only this were real! I feel like I’m constantly walking a fine line as I try to advocate for my son and decide when it’s appropriate to “brag” about the things I’m proud of. School is okay so far, but I have this nagging feeling that they are just doing the minimum to appease me and not seriously trying to find out what he’s capable of or what they can do to help. We shall see.
Jennifer, you hit on so many issues in this comment. You can always brag to me!
Lisa- this is awesome! As a board member of the 51 year old Washington State NPO, Northwest Gifted Child Association, I would love to get your permission to print this and enclose it in the packets for attendees to our annual “Connections” conference on March 8. Please let me know if this is OK. Thanks!
I’m honored, Sue. My parents live in Washington, so this is meaningful to me. Lisa
BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO! I so totally love this. The only ones that truly understand are other parents of gifted kids. We need to support each other and educate people. Why do we need to whisper “gifted?” And do we come last in education requests? It is so rewarding and so challenging all at once.
Wow, thanks so much Abby. I really appreciate it – and you’re right – it takes one to understand one!
This is a great list. I would also add that along with safety in school and social situations, these children also need a supportive environment where they fit in. This brings us back to ability grouping, clustering and other concepts often disparaged in many schools. Thanks for the list.
Gail Post/ http://www.giftedchallenges.com
I agree! Thanks for the comment and addition.
HI Lisa,
I am not a blogger, but I found your article really interesting and wanted to share my experience. My son is in grade 3 and his Math’s level corresponds to a Year 6/7 or so I am told by the school’s psychologist. He is also the (primary) school’s chess champion since he was in Year1.
The school is lovely but mainly focuses on literacy and not so much numeracy, which is so frustrating for him. They offered to work on a ‘differentiated plan’ next year but I am not sure if it will work well. He thinks the school is very bad and that they don’t teach him anything and that is why he finds it boring.
I have decided to change him to a bilingual school, where he will be taught Maths in French. People think I am crazy to do that -going in Year 4 to a school where 50% of the time they teach in French. I think it will keep him challenged but sometimes I worry about my decision.
He starts school next week (we are in Australia.)
I would appreciate your thoughts on this. The interesting part is that HE is the most KEEN on changing schools.
I love language immersion schools and here’s why:
1) I am a huge fan of bilingualism as a neuroprotective strategy. Knowing two languages is simply great for the brain.
2) Younger children don’t have the mental barriers to learning a new language that adults do (They don’t see it as too “hard.”)
3) It adds an overlay of challenge to every day, every class, which is so lovely for gifted children.
I wouldn’t worry about going in in year 4. Others will have done it before. Expect some literal headaches in the beginning – that happens when we’re exposed to a language that we don’t know for long periods of time. That will fade. If you and your husband can learn a little French, that will make it easier, n’est-ce pas? Let him label everything in the house. Listen to French radio or news on the internet. Check out French materials from the library. Just make it part of your normal life and it soon will be. Our family is like that with German.
My husband is an Aussie, actually!
Bonne Chance!
Lisa